I am enough.

I sit and wonder how I could be so oblivious to some things. I am oblivious out of love. If I feel some way for you, it will not be shaken so easily. For me to actually, finally realize that something is unhealthy and it is time to let it go takes so much from me. I do not give up easily and my decisions are not easily moved. Although I do often react to certain situations based on my emotions, I always do what I feel is best for me at the time. It pains me to know that no matter how many times I try and reach for something, I get the same results. Beating a dead horse as they may say. Beating and then trying to fix something that is long gone. An irrevocable situation that only ends with tragedy. Why I am never able to see that, I do not know. I do know that I deserve better. I know I am not the person you make me out to be. I am not who you say I am, and I will not fall for that anymore. At the end of the day, I do hope it hurts you. I want you to feel what I felt every time. Every time you have tried to make me out as someone I am not, it has come back on you. Of course that is my fault–always has been. It is my fault that you are so quick to turn to anger. Everything is always my fault and I know exactly how to live with myself after dealing with that. I will just live, apart from you. You are not my other half, you are not mine. At the end of the day, you weren’t ready and it is okay to blame me. If hurting me and taking all of your pain out on me is what makes you feel better, do it. I can handle myself but I am done handling you.

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2 thoughts on “I am enough.

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